Hope

                         HOPE!❤

Alot can take place in just 30 days. 

30 days after my last post life as we knew it will never be the same.

I've seen folks come together who were enemies, I've seen communities become one. 

The 🌎 as we knew has been flipped upside down, BUT TOGETHER we can beat this. ❤

Faith

Over

Fear

Stand strong! 

Display a white ribbon for HOPE worldwide. ❤🙏

Stay safe and healthy everyone and stay 🏠.

From the ground up

It's been one hard ass road to get to 38. 

Many days I seriously wondered if I would make it. 

I've seen depression, anxiety so bad it caused tremors, post partum depression, confusion, anger and wanted to die.

I've also seen happy, love, hope, and faith come to life.

Since the age of just 17 I've lived as an adult. 

A child to raise. 

By 18 married, 19 another child to raise. 21 three children, 24 four children. 

Back it up to,

"2003"

Capuchin number 3 was born. 

3 weeks later a nightmare began. His father and I were accused of child abuse and all 3 of our children were taken away. 

Long story short he was born with a bone disease, we would later find out. 

This is a story you just would not even believe. I'll write about that some other time. 

From that year on life would never be the same. 

"2005" Capunchin 4 is here, and we divorce just 8 months later. 

Fast forward to February 2009. When I'm blind sided by being pulled in to court. This went on for 2.5 years.( another story you don't want to miss ) 

November of 2009, in the heart of the court case, my father passes away. 

The struggle was real and would only prove harder. 

Fast forward 3 years. I started college... again.

Finished in 2013, interned, hated it. 

Go figure. 

I also rekindled with my 6th grade sweetheart. 

July 2014 Capuchin #5 is born.

My troop was finally complete.

I married my sweetheart in 2017 and to this day we are still going strong.

Sounds like a movie when you sum it all up. 

Throw in some dead ends, a lot of drama and a whole shit ton of tears you'll get a real soap opera/reality show.

The point here... 

I MADE it and if I can... 

so can YOU! 

Nothing has come easy, I've had to fight,kick and scream for every single thing I have today. 

The key! 

I never ever gave up and I 100% believed in myself and what I knew I deserved.  

If you put your mind to it you can do anything. 

I am a firm believer that whatever we give we get back. 

I've seen it happen time and time again in my own life. 

Through the 🔥 you have to keep your head up,never wallow in your own sorrows. 

Don't dwell on yesterday. 

And

             You got this ya'll. 

We got this!!!💪🤘

❤

J

Boobdate

Thank you 🌍 for having my back. 

With a grateful ❤ I am happy to report the tumor found was benign.

I have a condition called PASH. 

Too long to spell it out and way too much to explain. 

Google it.😘 

Nonetheless we hope symptoms subside when I go into menopause.  

Yay! 

Something to look forward too. NOT 🤦‍♀️ 

I'm forever grateful that I didn't hear the big C word and still disheartened for all my ladies not so fortunate out there. 

You all are always in my thoughts and prayers. 

❤ 

As for now, we keep on keepin on. 🤘 

❤ J

Boob Check

You don't know fear until you stare it straight in the face. 

The big C word is everywhere, shit it's like an epidemic.  Everyone has it these days, you're the lucky few if ya don't.  

You basically wake up and pray like hell with each passing day you aren't next. 

It's really fucked up to think about. 

I don't remember this shit as a kid. What's really going on? Makes ya wonder. 

Fear of the unknown when you find a lump or mass is like a daunting pain of what if. 

The mind is certainly a crazy thing. You can convince yourself dead if ya let it play out. 

Today was the day. The anticipation to get here was super fucked. I had to play out of site out of mind. 

The first part, ahh not so bad. Doc came in tried to assure me it didn't look like the big C,BUT we now needed to take extra measures to make sure. 

FML

Talk about nervous. 

It was as if time stood still. 

As the biopsy wrapped up and Doc was walking away he says " now I wouldn't lose any sleep over this". 

Ummm thanks man BUT already lost it. LOL

Now we wait, hope and pray. 

🤞❤ 

Positive Vibes

J

30 Day Results

You would think after the first post showing my mom gut I would be over it but NOPE.

I'm still just as reluctant to share shit. 

I HATE showing my body let alone to the entire world. 

Let me tell you something though. 

The minute I did it held me accountable and guess what...

It fucking worked! 

Seriously!

See for yourself. 

This is 30 days of at home workouts. 

I was a skeptic. 

No way would I ever buy into a pyramid scheme were my thoughts for so long. 

But...

What did I have to lose? 

Nothing, nothing at all. 

It had been almost 6 years of feeling frumpy AF. 

I was over it. 

I kept making excuses that it was just sooo expensive and there was no way I was going to pay that much to lose weight. 

Guess what..  when my thoughts changed so did I! 

Read that again folks. 

"When my thoughts changed so did I".

That's right. As soon as I chose to spend the money and look at it in a different light, EVERYTHING changed.
And I mean EVERYTHING!

I am no longer a skeptic, I am no longer making excuses.
And I SEE PROGRESS.
The same progress I have longed for the same progress I sat daily watching others obtain while I stayed in excuses.

For me I had to think of it like this,
I spend 1.50 to 3.00 a day on coffee. I also spent roughly 5 dollars a day on lunch.
Of course sometimes I brought coffee from home and brought my lunch but add up what I would spend if I didn't.
Add up what I would spend on just coffee, and now replace it with a healthy alternative.
You see where I am going.
The point is, look what my benefits are just from changing my routine.

Imagine what I will look like in another 30 days.

I CAN'T wait!
You should join me!!!!

Comment below, I would LOVE to have ya on my team.

See ya soon
J