A Leap of Faith

And I did just that ladies and gents.

For 2 years I sat on the fence about the job I held. I was so consumed with guilt about what may or may not happen if I just quit then and there. 

It became a nightmare to go in each day, it became a place I felt suffocated while there and dread would set in before ever pulling into the parking lot.

Don't get me wrong I absolutely loved the type of work I did but the place of employment was utterly exhausting.

I am not one to slander a company and this is a VERY well reputable one so we will leave it disclosed but just know you are only a number not an employee.

Welcome to Corporate America.

(insert puke sign)

Back to my final go for it, after about 2 full weeks of brutal anxiety attacks, many tears and the hubs saying " I have this, just do it", I put my two weeks resignation in.

The next day was spent in an hour and half meeting with my boss who in turn had convinced me to just stay and try it out a bit longer.

I have to admit I walked out of there feeling a bit better, as if a new light was over turned and we could possibly (small possibly) make this work.

One week later as I sat at my desk and an email came through about some nonsense, I made a rash decision to pack up quietly leave my keys, parking badge and security badge neatly on my desk and without a blink walk out the doors to my LEAP OF FAITH.

(no I do not wish to hear your opinion on how I should not have done that, for all you hard core right doers)

I left that day with no idea what I was going to do for the money I would now be missing, or what my next move would be. I had several ideas in mind but no real plan of action no real sure fire way to say in the 2 weeks I now had until bills were due again there would be a way to pay them.

BUT 

I knew I was free! 

Free from the dread, the stress and the overwhelming daily struggle of hating your job.

I got in my car that day and sat there for a minute just to take in what actually just occurred and probably freak out a bit too. 

Taking a leap of faith felt oh so good but so damn terrifying all in one breath.

I went home that day feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted and now was my chance to start again and do anything I wanted to do.

BUT

what... what would I do?? 

Go back to the 9-5 brick and mortar roll where micromanagement was the key for success, reach out to the social media world and attempt to pull in some kiddos to provide childcare for or maybe I could try my hand at this fitness thing everyone else can do it why can't I after all health and fitness have always been a dream of mine, or maybe I could put my crafting skills to use and see what I could come up with there, the list in my head goes on and on.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.

Delicious ambiguity

(Gilda Radner)

Needless to say I am nervous but I am going to think positive and make the most of this blessed opportunity that not everyone gets. 

I believe in turn this will show me what's next!