PMDD Blows !!

This is random, I know. But I couldn't figure out the “perfect" time to write about it so I had some free space and well here ya go.

I felt it so important to share my story because I am sure there are several out there feeling the same way and having no idea what the hell is going on. So to help just one person, well I did my job.

Alright here we go, now to dive into what was completely foreign to me.

Ok so for those who don't know PMDD stands for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

Now in my world I HATE the term “disorder" to me that is some bullshit doctor jargon that makes you sound incapable or super sick in the head. F that, I like to say Dilemma. Clear, cut and to the point and doesn't leave you feeling like you just incorporated some disarray of brain functionality.

Now to find some humor in it for a moment. :)

Alrighty back to serious for a sec.

Here is a good place to start for some great informative info on this "dilemma". :)

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families

So my story,

It goes a little something like this...

Wake up in a panic, something like a simple appointment (I made) would send me into a freak out, I cry to cry (literally), everything and that is NOT an exaggeration annoys the living shit out of me. I am on edge and feel like the entire world is caving in around me. I have thoughts some months of saying F it and just running away and leaving it all behind (cray cray huh). I am so on edge that you cannot talk to me for I am sure to take whatever you're saying the wrong way and flip the hell out. I cramp so bad I would swear to you my insides are making their way to the outside. My back aches like someone pushed me from a 2nd story roof and my legs cramp like I ran a marathon. I eat EVERYTHING I can find especially chocolate (which I don't even care for). 

My patience level doesn't exist and I am sure that everyone HATES me. Hell I can’t stand myself at these moments. My brain battles with my brain, does that even make sense?? HA! I began to realize what I was feeling during these times was only a feeling but never did I stop and put a pattern to it or a thought that it was anything but me going nuts.

The worst part, it went on for years before I ever had a clue there was such a thing as PMDD. 

Since my late teens I went through counselor after counselor for this, this whatever was so wrong with me only a little each month, hell one even said I was bipolar HA (thank god I am pretty darn bright and read A LOT because I knew that was DEFINITELY NOT the case) I remember leaving there thinking what a flipping QUACK and feeling super sorry for all the misdiagnosed and super medicated peeps that didn't even need it and yet had no idea. WOW huh! Now you see why it was so darn important for me to share this.

I spent 15 plus years trying to figure out what the heck was going on, this was PMS times the worst times of your entire life.

I had my first monkey at a young age, then married and had 3 more. I seriously chalked it up to long months and years of postpartum after that. As I grew older I was able to control a lot of the "feelings" better but still never understood why.

All these years of reading and schooling later I soon discovered this "dilemma" and it was as if a bell went off and I was so relieved. This was it, I just knew it, and it explained everything to a T!

Here is a great self-quiz I had found that will just kind of help you determine if it may be PMDD. There is also some very useful information along with it.

http://www.ucnet.com/pms/quiz.htm

So I began to keep a journal on an app on my phone back in, get this 2013. A looooooong time later, 

I kept track on the calendar portion, my symptoms. I did this for 6 straight months. The result was, it was time to see a doctor to be actually diagnosed, blah :(!

I narrowed mine to every month 1 to 2 full weeks before my cycle. I remember thinking OMG this is HALF of my life. WTF!!!  But also so relieved that I had a name for it, wasn't freaking crazy, and had a way to stop it.    Shit I felt totally BLESSED, don't let me fool ya!

Moral of the story, 100 years later I finally feel so much better.

I went straight to the OB let them know what was up, gave them the whole run down on time and of course instantly she knew what it was.

Low dose of Zoloft (which I HATE pills, I am a no medicate type of gal, always have been, BUT I knew I needed this, I had to except help for this end of the spectrum) once a day and it has been a life changer! Now don't get me wrong, I am human, this in NO way is a fix all kind of deal. I still have my days where I am evil, mean and nasty, yell too much and wana run away from this crazy circus but that my friends is LIFE! What I don't have is the loss of 2 weeks of every month from my brain playing games on me or the loss of relationships. What I don't have is the dysfunction portion those couple of weeks brings trying to convince myself this wasn't actually life.  

I know what worked for me is not going to be for everyone, but it was a start for the better for me. So just to bring some awareness that this could be what you are going through is perfect to me. I hope this can shed some light about this "dilemma" and maybe just maybe help someone become fully happy again. 

Okay a couple more funny's before I go. 

No better way than to poke fun of what we hate! hehe 

Also A list of blogs about this "dilemma"  that I absolutely LOVE!! 
Check um out, tell them I sent ya!
MeetMyPMDD
decidedlysane
livingonaprayerwithpmdd
pmdditsnotjustpms